Let me just preface this by saying that this is not my favorite smoothie recipe. Not by a long shot.
The point of this recipe is that it was intended as a rescue mission.
And like a makeup artist in front of an ogre, well, let’s just say I can’t perform miracles. At least not today. But I can try, and try I did.
See… my mom has been buying up bottles of kombucha on sale. This fermented tea beverage is supposed to be full of probiotics and good for your digestion. Since I don’t eat yogurt anymore, I figured it would be a good way to get some probiotics into my system and, thus, tried some of my mom’s purchases. I had originally only tasted the “gingerade” flavor, which I liked, but now there were all these other enticing flavors sitting in the fridge. One such flavor was a “cherry chia” variety – a pretty berry color, with lots of chia seeds suspended in it. Looked tasty.
So a few days ago, I opened up that bottle, took a sip, and – ugghh!! This doesn’t taste like cherries at all! In fact, it tastes more like mustard! What the heck??? I couldn’t bring myself to take another sip, so I closed the bottle and discretely put it on the top shelf of the fridge, hoping my mom would notice it and drink the darn thing.
Several days had passed and, this morning, the cherry kombucha bottle was still in the fridge. Barely consumed, if at all. I felt responsible and didn’t want it to go to waste. So what did I do?
I decided to make a kombucha smoothie.
Smoothies are good, right? I’ve managed to sneak in all sorts of less-than-craveable (but highly nutritious) ingredients into smoothies and whirl them up into something I would gladly consume. Spinach, kale, avocados, papaya, and spirulina powder are a few examples.
Now, the first iteration of this rescue “kombucha smoothie” consisted of the kombucha, orange slices (peeled, seeded), banana, frozen mango chunks, and frozen strawberries. It looked so pretty in the blender, I couldn’t wait to try it.
I poured myself a glass, took a sip, and – blehhh!! This tastes like mustard!! What the heck??? Apparently, I had forgotten just how offensive the cherry kombucha taste was from a few days ago. This was gonna take more culinary ammo than I thought.
So next, I added a pretty hefty chunk of ginger (as in, larger than a nickel), thinking that the spice should definitely drown out some of the mustard-ey bitterness. I also added some vanilla extract to balance out the spiciness. And heck, a couple of shakes of cinnamon, just to distract some more from the icky taste. I blended it up, and the ginger did its job of masking the kombucha, but now it was way too spicy for me – even with the vanilla.
For the last round, I added another half a banana and a few chunks of frozen pineapple. And while the finished result wasn’t mind-blowingly awesome, it was infinitely more palatable than the original cherry chia kombucha I had started with. (I’ll be sticking to gingerade kombucha from now on, thanks.)
So, if you happened to have bought some disappointing kombucha, try this rescue-mission tropical kombucha smoothie.
You’ll still be able to enjoy the probiotic benefits without having to plug your nose to chug it down. And if you have some kombucha at home that you actually like, then I’m sure this smoothie will be fabulous. Or, you can just replace the kombucha in this recipe with water or your favorite non-dairy milk, and it will taste great.
Hopefully, I can look upon this post in the future and have a good laugh. Actually, I’m laughing right now ;P